Landy's Gospel Creations-LGC 'Advancing the Gospel...' (Philippians 1:12)

   "...slow to speak..."

by: Frederick A. Landy, MAML

         For it is written, James 1:19, out of the New International Version (NIV) translation, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry;" 

       What this speaks to me is that what we may think we heard may not be what was really being said and what we may have thought we saw may not be what was really being done. I know, that was a mouthful and it will take some time to process. So go ahead, let that marinate while you continue reading.

       Here in James 1:19, the part of this particular verse that stands out for me is the "...slow to speak..." part. James, the half-brother of Jesus, states in the oldest book of the New Testament that we should, "...take note of this...", what is being stated after the comment, that is. 

       God through James relays to us Bible studiers that first we must be "...quick to listen...", because what I'm finding out in life is that through such an approach, it will allow for us to really get the full story in many instances and gain an understanding of the topic(s) of discussion, simply put.

       If someone always enter into a conversation with an approach of not listening, but rather trying to always convince others that his or her point is the right point, it will then make it difficult for future discourse to take place between that person and other individuals because in a sense they are showing others who they really are, an individual who may not really have an intent to respectfully entertain someone else's thoughts, comments and ideas that may be different from theirs.

       In my opinion, what this does is creates a strain between the recipient and that individual. Sure, we may not accept everything that is being said to us at a given time, but through listening there may be something in the conversation that we do need. What I would suggest is that in these given times how about we practice to take what we believe is for us and the rest we just leave it where it's at. This is what I believe is the 'art of listening'. We don't always have to relay our disapproval through a response, we can just do it within our own mind, within our own spirit. This is why the second part of this particular verse in James 1:19 states that it is very important, that we practice to be "...slow to speak..."

      This idea or, not even that, practice of being "...slow to speak..." is one that I know the Holy Ghost has to help us to practice doing, that's if we ask Him to. I know, it is very easy to always state our side on various topics of discussion and issues and rightfully so. I do believe that we should let others know where we stand in regards to things that we are adamant or feel strongly about in regards to various topics/issues, but it takes prayer and discernment to know when the time is right and what words to use.

        Moreover, could it be that the person before us is giving us something that we really need to hear in the form of wise counsel or advice? We can miss it if we are not being "...quick to listen" let alone "...slow to speak...". Instead of trying to see the good, could it be that we become defensive because we feel offended by their perspective? I don't believe we should always look at every comment and statement as such, that is not how life works, in my opinion.

        With that, I would always hear, from those 'seasoned saints', while growing up in the church that "God always has a way!" May I suggest that in some cases, 'the way' that He has provided for us to get may it be specific knowledge on something that we may not have been able to get otherwise, could be from the individual or individuals right in front of us? This is why I believe it behooves us to make it a practice as James states here to be "...slow to speak..." 

       As for me, I used to think that if anybody said anything that sounded like they were against me, then I took it as such and that was that. But what I'm finding out is that many times people are speaking from a place of love and it is just their concern being relayed. They most likely, my friend, are not against you, they are just looking out for you because that is the love that they have for you. Yeah, I had to keep living to understand that. I had to gain a greater level of discernment to know that. Trust me, it also took being past the age of twenty-five for me to really see it. 

       Furthermore, after we have gotten into a good habit of being "quick to listen" and "slow to speak" it will help us in being what the latter part of the verse states, "slow to become angry." 

      How can I become angry with an individual that has rightfully and effectively relayed a thing to me? The only way that can happen is because I did not listen and was always quick to respond. 

       See this "...slow to speak..." part of James 1:19 has a lot to do with integrity, but the question to be answered is 'what is integrity' and I'm so glad you asked! 'Integrity' is defined by Dictionary.com as "adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty." What this is saying to me is that in order to have integrity, especially for us as being humans, it is not just summed up in what we do, but also in what we say and how we say it.

       See, I believe, it takes me having a good understanding in order to respond in an intelligent manner on various topics and issues. I feel that I cannot make a valid response on or about something if I have no knowledge of it. But what I am finding out is that it is also possible to not be able to make a valid response on or about something if the only thing that were doing was hearing and not listening. 

       Let us never forget that what we say goes a long way. There are those that make promises and do not keep them. With that, this is where I believe the practice of being "...slow to speak..." will definitely come in handy. I hear of it happening and am a victim of it, as we all are in some cases. It's that nice sounding verbal comment or agreement, something as simple as , "I'll call you back" and then the individual doesn't or "Yeah, I will get back to you on that by 12 noon tomorrow", but now it's Friday of that week and 12 noon tomorrow was supposed to have been Tuesday. 

       Is there a 'cultural movement' being encouraged in the area of being insensitive of other people's time or is it just a thing going on within that individual him or herself?

       You know, my grandfather always taught me, "son, your word is your bond." Also, I was always taught not to waste other people's time and in return I don't have to allow others to waste my time. This part is for young men especially. Let us be reminded young men that there are still individuals out there that will 'hold us to our word', so let us try to practice to be "...slow to speak..." 

       If we allow ourselves to really think about what we are about say, I believe it may help to cut out a lot of headaches, heartaches and disappointments.

       Let us say what we mean and mean what we say. Let us say what we can do and say what we cannot do. Let us be real as real can be and in so doing, I believe others will appreciate us for that. Also, it will show our character and the integrity that we have in a positive light. 

       So, what do you say, let's start trying to do that right here, right now? Hey, I say, why not! 

Bibliography

Integrity. Dictionary [online]. Oakland, CA: Dictionary.com, LLC, 2015, accessed November 08, 2015 from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity. Internet

What is intimidation?

Frederick A. Landy, MAML

       I believe Eleanor Roosevelt, the former first lady of the United States of America; wife of former president, Franklin D. Roosevelt, had it right when she stated, "No one can make [us] feel inferior without [our] consent."

       What this says to me is along the topic of intimidation. I believe to understand the term intimidation it must be looked at in its original usage as 'intimidate' and be defined. Webster's online dictionary identifies this term as a verb or an action word and defines it as this, "to make (someone) afraid." Dictionary.com defines this term as, "to make timid; fill with fear."

       Moreover, I believe that there is a question at hand now that there is an understanding of what the term 'intimidate' denotes. With that, of course, we know that the connotation or the personal interpretation can be taken from various angles through various suggestions.

       May I suggest through this Rhema Topic that intimidation may not always look the way we think or even with that, it may not even be trying to accomplish what we think it has come to accomplish.

       I must state right here that this Rhema Topic is one that I know will challenge the mind of the reader. One will have to really think about this topic in light of encounters or situations that one may have had or currently be facing. 

       Now let's look at it from the standpoint of the individual that may actually be trying to intimidate another. Sure, it's the way in which one 'comes off.' They may be very aggressive. They may seem to 'talk at' one instead of 'talk to' one. It's the mannerisms shown, body gestures and the like. 

       On the flip side of this, in light of the one that the intimidator is looking to intimidate or make afraid, the questions that may be going through one's head could be, "why is this person coming at me like this?" or "who do they think they are coming off like they are somebody?" or even "I'm about ready to leave and not be bothered with this person!"

       Rightfully so should these questions be thought upon. But the question I would like to pose is, who are we to know that the person that looks like they are intimidating us are really doing that? Now don't get me wrong, that 'gut feeling', which I call the 'Holy Ghost detector' will never lead us wrong. So if we need to call it like we see it, sure, but let's do it in a prayerful manner. Because what we think we see, may not always really be what is being shown. 

       Furthermore, could it be that the person who is truly trying to intimidate is doing so because the individual(s) before them intimidates them in return? It's like a defense mechanism being played out, intimidation because intimidated. 

       I look at it like this, if a person is trying to fill me with fear, for whatever reason, it is really an indicator that whatever I am exuding is obviously quite significant and that there is worth and importance present in connection to who I am as an individual. 

     Now, if I was to allow an individual's rant of trying to allegedly intimidate me not grow me and give me the 'thick skin' that I need, then I believe that I am not helping the situation out at all. 

       What am I saying? I am finding out in this life that there are individuals that will come off as aggressive and strong-willed, but I don't believe that it has to mean that they are 'the enemy' or one who is trying to intimidate. I believe we should first take the time to observe our surroundings and those we come into interaction with at a given time. In so doing, what I find out is that the particular individual usually just has standards and possibly even some stipulations that they look to uphold whether professional or personal and, in turn, they are actually just showing you who they really are. 

       Could I suggest that aggression, though defined by Dictionary.com as "any offensive action, attack, or procedure; an inroad or encroachment", can be seen in a positive light if it is allowed to be transformed to that of being assertive? Through this type of transformation this is how I believe confidence and effectivity is maintained.

       Well, the question of what it means to be 'assertive' can only be answered through knowing the definition of the term. Dictionary.com identifies this term as an adjective or a word that describes a noun and defines it as, "confidently aggressive or self-assured; positive." Another definition that is presented is, "having a distinctive or pronounced taste or aroma." With having knowledge of the second definition of the term 'assertive', it leads me to the strong-willed aspect of such a one.

       A strong-willed person, in my opinion, is one who has "...a distinctive or pronounced taste or aroma." One's actions and responses will relay this. Whether it's how one goes about handling business or getting a point across, the evidence of this will be apparent. Sure, tone of voice and all such factors play a major role in our ability to identify whether intimidation is at work, but as previously stated, is it really intimidation or is it aggression transformed into being that of assertive? 

       In conclusion, I decided to write this Rhema Topic to let those who read it know that there are many aggressive and strong-willed individuals out here in this world and rightfully so. 

       I do not believe that a person who has worked hard for what he or she has, whether a college education, a career or the like, should downgrade their being strong-willed. But even still, who is our own worst enemy, we are. This is to say that if we are not allowing our aggression to be transformed to being assertive, then there needs to be some self-evaluation and soul-searching taking place, in my opinion. 

       Listen, I should be so aggressive and strong-willed that it challenges those that I come into contact with so to the point that they want the same confidence, drive and determination which, in turn, will cause them to want to see themselves performing and living at a level of excellence that they may have never thought they could. This is only if that individual can see it as such. 

       How can we ever grow if we dismiss every seemingly challenging opportunity without first seeing how it could possibly grow us? It could be that God has allowed such a person(s) to come our way in order to fine-tune some areas in our lives, not just professionally, but maybe even personally. I believe it's time for us to accept the challenges that may be and let the Holy Ghost make up for the rest, because He will, if we let Him. 

       It's time to go after our dreams. It's time to lay aside the feelings of timidity and fear and pray about it. There are so many great things to come, I know it! Now let us all, 'go and receive from the Lord.' May God bless you and keep you.  

Bibliography

Intimidate. Webster's Dictionary [online]. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, Inc., 2015, accessed October 02, 2015, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intimidate. Internet.

Intimidate. Dictionary [online]. Oakland, CA: Dictionary.com, LLC, 2015, accessed October 02, 2015, from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/intimidate. Internet.

Aggression. Dictionary [online]. Oakland, CA: Dictionary.com, LLC, 2015, accessed October 02, 2015 from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/aggression. Internet.

Assertive. Dictionary [online]. Oakland, CA: Dictionary.com, LLC, 2015, accessed October 02, 2015, from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/assertive. Internet.