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"...slow to speak..."
by: Frederick A. Landy, MAML
For it is written, James 1:19, out of the New International Version (NIV) translation, "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry;"
What this speaks to me is that what we may think we heard may not be what was really being said and what we may have thought we saw may not be what was really being done. I know, that was a mouthful and it will take some time to process. So go ahead, let that marinate while you continue reading.
Here in James 1:19, the part of this particular verse that stands out for me is the "...slow to speak..." part. James, the half-brother of Jesus, states in the oldest book of the New Testament that we should, "...take note of this...", what is being stated after the comment, that is.
God through James relays to us Bible studiers that first we must be "...quick to listen...", because what I'm finding out in life is that through such an approach, it will allow for us to really get the full story in many instances and gain an understanding of the topic(s) of discussion, simply put.
If someone always enter into a conversation with an approach of not listening, but rather trying to always convince others that his or her point is the right point, it will then make it difficult for future discourse to take place between that person and other individuals because in a sense they are showing others who they really are, an individual who may not really have an intent to respectfully entertain someone else's thoughts, comments and ideas that may be different from theirs.
In my opinion, what this does is creates a strain between the recipient and that individual. Sure, we may not accept everything that is being said to us at a given time, but through listening there may be something in the conversation that we do need. What I would suggest is that in these given times how about we practice to take what we believe is for us and the rest we just leave it where it's at. This is what I believe is the 'art of listening'. We don't always have to relay our disapproval through a response, we can just do it within our own mind, within our own spirit. This is why the second part of this particular verse in James 1:19 states that it is very important, that we practice to be "...slow to speak..."
This idea or, not even that, practice of being "...slow to speak..." is one that I know the Holy Ghost has to help us to practice doing, that's if we ask Him to. I know, it is very easy to always state our side on various topics of discussion and issues and rightfully so. I do believe that we should let others know where we stand in regards to things that we are adamant or feel strongly about in regards to various topics/issues, but it takes prayer and discernment to know when the time is right and what words to use.
Moreover, could it be that the person before us is giving us something that we really need to hear in the form of wise counsel or advice? We can miss it if we are not being "...quick to listen" let alone "...slow to speak...". Instead of trying to see the good, could it be that we become defensive because we feel offended by their perspective? I don't believe we should always look at every comment and statement as such, that is not how life works, in my opinion.
With that, I would always hear, from those 'seasoned saints', while growing up in the church that "God always has a way!" May I suggest that in some cases, 'the way' that He has provided for us to get may it be specific knowledge on something that we may not have been able to get otherwise, could be from the individual or individuals right in front of us? This is why I believe it behooves us to make it a practice as James states here to be "...slow to speak..."
As for me, I used to think that if anybody said anything that sounded like they were against me, then I took it as such and that was that. But what I'm finding out is that many times people are speaking from a place of love and it is just their concern being relayed. They most likely, my friend, are not against you, they are just looking out for you because that is the love that they have for you. Yeah, I had to keep living to understand that. I had to gain a greater level of discernment to know that. Trust me, it also took being past the age of twenty-five for me to really see it.
Furthermore, after we have gotten into a good habit of being "quick to listen" and "slow to speak" it will help us in being what the latter part of the verse states, "slow to become angry."
How can I become angry with an individual that has rightfully and effectively relayed a thing to me? The only way that can happen is because I did not listen and was always quick to respond.
See this "...slow to speak..." part of James 1:19 has a lot to do with integrity, but the question to be answered is 'what is integrity' and I'm so glad you asked! 'Integrity' is defined by Dictionary.com as "adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty." What this is saying to me is that in order to have integrity, especially for us as being humans, it is not just summed up in what we do, but also in what we say and how we say it.
See, I believe, it takes me having a good understanding in order to respond in an intelligent manner on various topics and issues. I feel that I cannot make a valid response on or about something if I have no knowledge of it. But what I am finding out is that it is also possible to not be able to make a valid response on or about something if the only thing that were doing was hearing and not listening.
Let us never forget that what we say goes a long way. There are those that make promises and do not keep them. With that, this is where I believe the practice of being "...slow to speak..." will definitely come in handy. I hear of it happening and am a victim of it, as we all are in some cases. It's that nice sounding verbal comment or agreement, something as simple as , "I'll call you back" and then the individual doesn't or "Yeah, I will get back to you on that by 12 noon tomorrow", but now it's Friday of that week and 12 noon tomorrow was supposed to have been Tuesday.
Is there a 'cultural movement' being encouraged in the area of being insensitive of other people's time or is it just a thing going on within that individual him or herself?
You know, my grandfather always taught me, "son, your word is your bond." Also, I was always taught not to waste other people's time and in return I don't have to allow others to waste my time. This part is for young men especially. Let us be reminded young men that there are still individuals out there that will 'hold us to our word', so let us try to practice to be "...slow to speak..."
If we allow ourselves to really think about what we are about say, I believe it may help to cut out a lot of headaches, heartaches and disappointments.
Let us say what we mean and mean what we say. Let us say what we can do and say what we cannot do. Let us be real as real can be and in so doing, I believe others will appreciate us for that. Also, it will show our character and the integrity that we have in a positive light.
So, what do you say, let's start trying to do that right here, right now? Hey, I say, why not!
Bibliography
Integrity. Dictionary [online]. Oakland, CA: Dictionary.com, LLC, 2015, accessed November 08, 2015 from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity. Internet
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