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What is intimidation?
Frederick A. Landy, MAML
I believe Eleanor Roosevelt, the former first lady of the United States of America; wife of former president, Franklin D. Roosevelt, had it right when she stated, "No one can make [us] feel inferior without [our] consent."
What this says to me is along the topic of intimidation. I believe to understand the term intimidation it must be looked at in its original usage as 'intimidate' and be defined. Webster's online dictionary identifies this term as a verb or an action word and defines it as this, "to make (someone) afraid." Dictionary.com defines this term as, "to make timid; fill with fear."
Moreover, I believe that there is a question at hand now that there is an understanding of what the term 'intimidate' denotes. With that, of course, we know that the connotation or the personal interpretation can be taken from various angles through various suggestions.
May I suggest through this Rhema Topic that intimidation may not always look the way we think or even with that, it may not even be trying to accomplish what we think it has come to accomplish.
I must state right here that this Rhema Topic is one that I know will challenge the mind of the reader. One will have to really think about this topic in light of encounters or situations that one may have had or currently be facing.
Now let's look at it from the standpoint of the individual that may actually be trying to intimidate another. Sure, it's the way in which one 'comes off.' They may be very aggressive. They may seem to 'talk at' one instead of 'talk to' one. It's the mannerisms shown, body gestures and the like.
On the flip side of this, in light of the one that the intimidator is looking to intimidate or make afraid, the questions that may be going through one's head could be, "why is this person coming at me like this?" or "who do they think they are coming off like they are somebody?" or even "I'm about ready to leave and not be bothered with this person!"
Rightfully so should these questions be thought upon. But the question I would like to pose is, who are we to know that the person that looks like they are intimidating us are really doing that? Now don't get me wrong, that 'gut feeling', which I call the 'Holy Ghost detector' will never lead us wrong. So if we need to call it like we see it, sure, but let's do it in a prayerful manner. Because what we think we see, may not always really be what is being shown.
Furthermore, could it be that the person who is truly trying to intimidate is doing so because the individual(s) before them intimidates them in return? It's like a defense mechanism being played out, intimidation because intimidated.
I look at it like this, if a person is trying to fill me with fear, for whatever reason, it is really an indicator that whatever I am exuding is obviously quite significant and that there is worth and importance present in connection to who I am as an individual.
Now, if I was to allow an individual's rant of trying to allegedly intimidate me not grow me and give me the 'thick skin' that I need, then I believe that I am not helping the situation out at all.
What am I saying? I am finding out in this life that there are individuals that will come off as aggressive and strong-willed, but I don't believe that it has to mean that they are 'the enemy' or one who is trying to intimidate. I believe we should first take the time to observe our surroundings and those we come into interaction with at a given time. In so doing, what I find out is that the particular individual usually just has standards and possibly even some stipulations that they look to uphold whether professional or personal and, in turn, they are actually just showing you who they really are.
Could I suggest that aggression, though defined by Dictionary.com as "any offensive action, attack, or procedure; an inroad or encroachment", can be seen in a positive light if it is allowed to be transformed to that of being assertive? Through this type of transformation this is how I believe confidence and effectivity is maintained.
Well, the question of what it means to be 'assertive' can only be answered through knowing the definition of the term. Dictionary.com identifies this term as an adjective or a word that describes a noun and defines it as, "confidently aggressive or self-assured; positive." Another definition that is presented is, "having a distinctive or pronounced taste or aroma." With having knowledge of the second definition of the term 'assertive', it leads me to the strong-willed aspect of such a one.
A strong-willed person, in my opinion, is one who has "...a distinctive or pronounced taste or aroma." One's actions and responses will relay this. Whether it's how one goes about handling business or getting a point across, the evidence of this will be apparent. Sure, tone of voice and all such factors play a major role in our ability to identify whether intimidation is at work, but as previously stated, is it really intimidation or is it aggression transformed into being that of assertive?
In conclusion, I decided to write this Rhema Topic to let those who read it know that there are many aggressive and strong-willed individuals out here in this world and rightfully so.
I do not believe that a person who has worked hard for what he or she has, whether a college education, a career or the like, should downgrade their being strong-willed. But even still, who is our own worst enemy, we are. This is to say that if we are not allowing our aggression to be transformed to being assertive, then there needs to be some self-evaluation and soul-searching taking place, in my opinion.
Listen, I should be so aggressive and strong-willed that it challenges those that I come into contact with so to the point that they want the same confidence, drive and determination which, in turn, will cause them to want to see themselves performing and living at a level of excellence that they may have never thought they could. This is only if that individual can see it as such.
How can we ever grow if we dismiss every seemingly challenging opportunity without first seeing how it could possibly grow us? It could be that God has allowed such a person(s) to come our way in order to fine-tune some areas in our lives, not just professionally, but maybe even personally. I believe it's time for us to accept the challenges that may be and let the Holy Ghost make up for the rest, because He will, if we let Him.
It's time to go after our dreams. It's time to lay aside the feelings of timidity and fear and pray about it. There are so many great things to come, I know it! Now let us all, 'go and receive from the Lord.' May God bless you and keep you.
Bibliography
Intimidate. Webster's Dictionary [online]. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, Inc., 2015, accessed October 02, 2015, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/intimidate. Internet.
Intimidate. Dictionary [online]. Oakland, CA: Dictionary.com, LLC, 2015, accessed October 02, 2015, from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/intimidate. Internet.
Aggression. Dictionary [online]. Oakland, CA: Dictionary.com, LLC, 2015, accessed October 02, 2015 from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/aggression. Internet.
Assertive. Dictionary [online]. Oakland, CA: Dictionary.com, LLC, 2015, accessed October 02, 2015, from http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/assertive. Internet.
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