Landy's Gospel Creations-LGC 'Advancing the Gospel...' (Philippians 1:12)

Courtesy, not so common (it seems to be)

by: Frederick A. Landy, M.A.

       It is without a shadow-of-doubt that in this year 2018, technology is still yet advancing in rapid speeds. With a newer version of a cellphone coming out just months after a previous "newer" version was barely debuted, it isn't strange to see how just movement and lack of attention or the ability to give attention to detail to a device is being transferred in even our own personal daily dealings.

       What am I getting it? It is like the picture featured for this article, whether male or female posing the given question, it holds great significance. Yes, comical in its satirical approach, but yet troubling in it's realistic reference point. Keeping in context, right now with the provided picture, to be on the defense for the guy, it could be said that he is trying to still 'figure out' his new cellphone. Or yes, he is checking his text messages or even looking at one of his many social media accounts.

       Moreover, I believe the factor of age has to be taken into consideration in light of this picture. I would assume that both the male and female are in their early to mid-30s. For the sake of determining whether they are in a relationship or just friends, on the account of body language 1-0-1, the man has his right leg crossed toward the woman and is dressed in a way that could suggest that they are not just friends or out on a first date, but rather are in a relationship, possibly married.

       With that, I will use these above observations as my premise to see whether courtesy is not so common, as it seems to be in this year 2018 and has been, it seems, in my opinion since the beginning of the year 2008; for a decade. 

       The year 2008, lets see, that's when the New York Giants beat the New England Patriots 17-14 in the Super Bowl XLII (42) on Feb. 3rd. The movie "The Great Debaters" won 'Outstanding Motion Picture' at the 39th Annual NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People) Awards on Feb. 14th. This was also the year when the revered Olympic Games, the 29th one that is, was in Beijing, China and very historically on August 27th, Barack Obama become the first African American President of the United States of America.

       Technologically speaking, in 2008, the first iPhone was introduced. Not only that, Google Chrome was introduced to the world, which, if I must say, has made a 'world of difference' for those that use it, in how fast our internet web browser responds. I would be remise if I did not share how a new social media platform was introduced, Twitter that is, in the year 2008. (Bloor, 2008). 

       I believe, to see such rapid transformations technology-wise is quite remarkable; seeing that flip cellphones and the like were still popular to an extent ten years ago. This is with the recognition of how single, touch-screen cellphones only were around somewhere about five years before the year 2008, beginning in 2003 or so.

       Moreover, to draw a concise thesis of  this articles' title, "courtesy, not so common (it seems to be)", I will have to say that I believe the rapid advances in technology such as easy to use tablets, laptops, desktops and even the very 'smart phones' have gotten us, humankind, so enthralled or fascinated and is contributing to this issue; so much so to the point that how to have direct, face-to-face conversations and why and when we should do so, seems like it's becoming an archaic thing and has contributed to the lack thereof in 'common courtesy.'

       At this point, I believe it is necessary to define what common courtesy really is, universally speaking. So how we will approach this is to look at each word in its context, individually by way of denotation (dictionary definition) and then come back to it fully. The term common is an adjective defined as "of or relating to a community at large; public." The term courtesy is a noun defined as "behavior marked by polished manners or respect for others." So now looking at the term 'common courtesy' in its totality, this act or gesture is also defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary [online] as the "politeness that people can usually be expected to show."  

       Furthermore, I believe that the term 'expected' should be given emphasis to. Now, we all know that we cannot expect something from anyone if it was not first given to them. To see that there is apparently a lack of common courtesy here in the year 2018 from those eighteen years of age and younger and sometimes older in age (19-23 or even older), as I have gathered through naturalist observations since the year 2008, I believe it is safe to say that it may be due to the lack of  one having gained this teaching or maybe having gained the teaching and chose, almost involuntarily, in one's youth to not practice it let alone follow through with it into one's adult years. This, I believe, could be the cause of the epidemic.

       Yes, an epidemic, that is reflected through the lack of one, within the above age groups, not knowing how to sit and have a civilized or even an informal conversation with another human being for half-hour, let alone a couple hours without engaging in the usage of technology, if not applicable to the meeting.

       Sure, we meet to study or work on a project for school and we need a tablet, laptop or desktop to do so. Sure, we meet to finish up the presentation for work that is due next month, so technology is needed to do that. For the sake of validity and verification during that time, yes, it could be that a few photos that we've recently uploaded may be needed to be shared from our phone's photo gallery because the meeting calls for it; that's understandable. Or it could be that a YouTube video may need to be shared which shows your latest vlog, music video or the like, also necessary for the meeting.

       But what about when we're just on the phone just to be on it? Could it be that the person or persons we are with at the given time are not really that important to us? Most likely not. In today's time, it is very 'common' for us to be on our phones while at the restaurants...with friends and even family; while at the cookout...with friends and family; while at the graduation...with friends and family and the list goes on and on. Yes, pictures have to be taken and videos must be captured; then they have to be uploaded to our social media accounts; that's not it, then we have to watch to see how many likes we get and who shares our content. I believe this is good for what it's good for. 

       Moreover, I also believe that a balanced approach even in those cases should be taken. For there could have been a more priceless moment that we could have experienced in real time, but because of the virtual we missed it. Memories are moments experienced and created fully by way of touch, sight and smell. Yes, I believe it starts with the pictures and videos and then goes beyond such things. I believe it's important to let our moments be captured, but not at the risk of never really 'capturing the moment.'

       How do we possibly try to help the epidemic of a 'seemingly lack of common courtesy' in today's time? I believe one way is for those of us that were taught it by our parents and/or grandparents and in my case, even great-grandparents, to it teach to the generation of today, those 19-25 years of age and the next, those 18 and under. We have this responsibility; I believe we are obligated.

       We do this by modeling everyday, as much as we can, what it looks like to have a conversation with someone else without engaging in technology for the duration of the interation. We can model it by how we eat at the dinner table at home or out at the restaurant and are able to look each other in the face for at least thirty minutes to an hour without any television, cellphones, tablets, etc. Whether, it's one day out of the week we've set aside for there to be no technology usage on this day during dinner, it's a start.

        I know that I mentioned sitting down at the dinner table, this is where I believe we've forgotten the strength and connectivity this gave to us. It's where we 'catch up' with each other, those living in the home. It's where challenges are shared from one's day; stories of triumph also. When I was growing up, this is where the conversations of common courtesy and even the lessons were being taught. When my maternal or mom's mom who raised me had finished cooking dinner and fixed the table each night for such a meal, she would call my maternal grandfather and my aunt that I whom I was raised with to let us know what? 'DINNER IS READY!'

       We had to come, having washed our hands and in presentable clothes, sit with our feet on the floor and get ready to say grace. I'm talking from my experience of how I was taught common courtesy. Once we said grace we had to ask for what dish we wanted to get food out of with the given serving utensil in it. This was practiced from the time I was gotten custody of by my maternal grandparents at three and a half years of age until I was still coming back home from college. Now granted, there were times when we got in high school that we were able to be excused to eat later or in our rooms, but we had to asked to be excused and have permission to eat later or in our rooms; granddad didn't play that.

       Little did I know that through this seemingly small interaction from Sunday-Friday, because we had Saturdays off, lol (laughing out loud), this was common courtesy, "behavior marked by polished manners or respect for others." at it's rarest form. Immediately answering and doing what my maternal grandparents asked me to do when I was growing up, 'common courtesy.' Texting my best friend back within 12-24 hours and definitely a business associate or the like, 'common courtesy'.

       In conclusion, I believe that this particular epidemic can be cured and in so doing can see a turnaround in a generation that seems to not know what it means to know how to have a direct, face-to-face conversation, let alone how to respect others in the response time on our technological devices. It's not impossible! Yes, it can be done. So lets begin!!!

LESSONS ON COMMON COURTESY 

ACTION #1: RECEIVING A TEXT MESSAGE from a family, friend and/or colleague

EXPECTATION: It is suggested that one should always respond to a general or even important text messages within 12-24 hours (one day); if very busy no more than 48 hours (or a day and a half later).; if there is some other type of existing issue between one and the texter, then the discretion is left up to the one being texted on how important it is, which, in turn, is expressed through a text being given back three days to a week later.

F.Y.I. -The latter behavior alluded to above can come off very rude, especially if the other person may not know why one is not responding back to their message(s) in a timely fashion. So, in 'old-school' verbiage, this deserves a 'sit-down' of some sort, if necessary, in order to share with the individual not texting back in a timely fashion, how this behavior is coming off as unacceptable. Jobs will do it to their employees, but many times friends and even family will not really go that route. I get it, there may be some people we just do not 'rock with' or get along with anymore for whatever reason, so the lack of responding in generous timing, we a lot of times feel is our way of telling them, non-verbally, 'stop texting me.' or 'I don't care.'

       One thing that we must never allow to happen is to have this type of behavior transferred to other people that actually mean good by us. This type of behavior can be almost seen like that of a 'cold shoulder' via text message that we've been giving to that friend or family member we stopped talking to or stopped following on social media; or the lack of attention we give other people that may remind us of a person of ill-repute or low-esteem causing us to have a displacement of anger and disappointment toward other people should be considered.

       Again, a person could be texting you something very important and because we let our clouded emotions and feelings get in the way, we just ended up missing a great opportunity to hang or to be helped, etc.

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ACTION #2: RECEIVING AN EMAIL from a family, friend and/or colleague

EXPECTATION: It is suggested that one should always respond to a general or even important email within 12-24 hours (one day); if very busy no more than 48 hours (a day and a half). Jobs and definitely careers teaches us this. Let's say Mr. Jones has to close a deal for the firm he works for and the only way the deal can be closed is if he receives the necessary documents and responds to the lead for the deal with the company they have been negotiating with overseas via email in generous timing. If Mr. Jones knows that the email will be sent next week, but will be out-of-the-office during that time, he knows that an auto-reply email must be arranged via his email account to let the company know that he will not be there in the event the documents were sent. If Mr. Jones is like I, he will make a special call before being out of the office to the company's lead for the deal and have his personal cell phone number given and email so that, if necessary, the deal can be closed still yet at the needed time.

       This is not to say that Mr. Jones is constantly checking his email while away from the office, because common courtesy would say that the lead of the company that they are doing the deal with may have it to where the documents could be sent to be signed before Mr. Jones leaves or after he returns. 

       Courtesy, not so common (it seems to be), but it can still be held on to, so let's hold on to it. We must not let it go away. 

Sources:

       On This Day: Historical Events in 2008. (2000-2018). Retrieved from: https://www.onthisday.com/events/date/2008.

       Bloor, R. (2008). The 10 Most Important Technology Developments of 2008. Retrieved from: https://seekingalpha.com/article/112710-the-10-most-important-

            technology-developments-of-2008.

       Common. Merriam-Webster Dictionary [online]. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, Inc., 2018, accessed April 09, 2018 from https://www.merriam-

            webster.com/dictionary/common%20courtesy.

       Courtesy. Merriam-Webster Dictionary [online]. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, Inc., 2018, accessed April 09, 2018 from https://www.merriam-

            webster.com/dictionary/courtesy.

       Common Courtesy. Merriam-Webster Dictionary [online]. Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, Inc., 2018, accessed April 09, 2018 from https://www.merriam-

            webster.com/dictionary/common%20courtesy.